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Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline: 303-322-7273; Línea de Crisis Sobre La Violencia Sexual: 303-329-0031

Understanding My Experience

Dealing With My Feelings

Understanding My Experience: Dealing With My Feelings

Following a sexual assault, your feelings and emotions may seem all over the place. Sometimes feelings (like shame, anger, fear isolation, etc.) happen immediately, sometimes they come much later. 

Other times, there may be numbness and dissociation. Remember that there is no right way to feel or react after a sexual assault. The body's reaction to trauma is diverse—and all reactions are valid, normal ways to respond. What happened was not your fault and your body reacted and continues reacting in the best way it knows how. 

If you need help tackling an emotion that is affecting you right now or you are considering more long term exploration of these feelings, we can help.

Click through the questions below for more information:

Crisis situations and coping in the moment:

  • I need help with a panic attack, nightmare or flashback.

    It is common for sights, sounds, smells, etc. to trigger a reaction in the body that may feel overwhelming, frightening and upsetting. At the Blue bench we know that these impacts can happen at any time, day or night, and therefore have services available 24 hours a day.

    If you need help dealing with these feelings right now, our trained hotline volunteers can help.

    We also provide a 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline/Linea en Español para ayuda sobre el abuse sexual at 303-322-7273 for free, confidential help, day or night. We use RELAY Colorado for those who are deaf and hard of hearing.

  • Are my feelings normal?

    Sexual assault crosses all barriers, including age, race, religion, sexual orientation, economic status, and geographic location. While every survivor of sexual assault is unique, there are many common responses and effects to being assaulted. 

    Not every survivor will experience all of these effects and may demonstrate responses to these effects in a variety of ways. 

    Some survivors may initially respond in an “expressive” manner, which can include sobbing, shaking, hyperventilating, and displaying strong or intense emotional responses; while other survivors may respond in a “controlled” manner, which can include detachment, numbing, and very little expression of emotions.

    Initial effects

    • Shock, disbelief, disorganized thinking, difficulty remembering all parts of the assault
    • Crying, emotional numbness, moods or emotions shift quickly
    • Physical soreness, nausea, stomach or pelvic pain, loss of appetite, shaking, headaches
    • Fear, hyper vigilance/alertness, easily startled,  jumpiness, restlessness
    • Anxiety, anger, irritability, depression
    • Shame, self-blame, guilt
    • Difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating, and performing normal tasks
    • Nightmares, flashbacks, preoccupation with thoughts and feelings about the assault
    • Attempting to avoid people, places and activities that trigger memories of the assault
    • Integration/ Acceptance – Begins to accept what happened and make it a piece of her/ his life story. Learns to feel more in control again and decreases need to control environment. May begin to take action (political, prevention, personal)

    If you are interested in learning about ways The Blue Bench can help you heal, contact us at 303-329-9922 ext. 302 to talk to our Intake Therapist or our 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline/Linea en Español para ayuda sobre el abuse sexual at 303-322-7273 for free, confidential help, day or night. We use RELAY Colorado for those who are deaf and hard of hearing.

On-going treatment and trauma-informed healing:

  • Is therapy right for me?

    At The Blue Bench, we focus as much on your long-term care and healing as we do on the immediate and short-term response. 

    We understand that over time, different emotions and challenges may occur. So whether you recently experienced a sexual assault or are addressing an assault from your past, we have the counseling support you need.

    Our Counselors provide both short-term and long-term therapy, as well as various different therapy and support groups, including a therapeutic yoga group. 

    Additionally, knowing that sexual assault can have significant impact on friends and families of the survivor, we also offer a workshop for family and friends.

    If you are interested in counseling services, you can reach our Intake Therapist at 303-329-9922 ext. 302  for a phone screen, and to set up an initial intake appointment. 

  • What if I've already had therapy before?

    Healing is a very personal process and it is important to remember that the path to healing is not a linear one. 

    There will be lots of ups and downs along the way and that's ok. Even if you have gone to therapy before, the therapist, the time in your life and your mindset are all factors that could affect the experience. 

    At The Blue Bench, we know that healing is possible and we are here to help you decide if therapy is right for you.

    If you are interested in counseling services, you can reach our Intake Therapist at 303-329-9922 ext. 302  for a phone screen, and to set up an initial intake appointment. 

  • What if people in my life aren't supportive of therapy?

    The choice to go through therapy is a very personal one and sometimes people have specific opinions on whether or not it's right for you. The reality is, only you know if it's right for you because no one knows your needs better than yourself.

    As a way to help family and friends understand what you are going through, we also have a "Someone I Love" workshop that can be a helpful way for them to learn about sexual assault and the ways they can support you and themselves. 

    You can learn more about our services here.

    If you want to move forward with therapy but need help talking to your loved ones about it, our confidential hotline can help you talk it through, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    Call our 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline/Linea en Español para ayuda sobre el abuse sexual at 303-322-7273 for free, confidential help, day or night. We use RELAY Colorado for those who are deaf and hard of hearing.

    You can also reach our Intake Therapist at 303-329-9922 ext. 302  for a phone screen, and to set up an initial intake appointment. 

Our Continuum of Care, led by our professional Care Team, allows survivors, their families and friends to come to us and be heard, believed and supported, regardless of when the sexual assault occurred.

The Blue Bench is here for survivors of sexual assault 13 years of age and older* of all gender identities, ethnic/racial identities, sexual identities, and religious backgrounds who reside in our 9-county service area. 

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